Why do I react like this?


Have you ever wondered why you react the way you do to life or people?   Most likely it’s not the situation at hand.

Personal experience

I started noticing myself responding to situations with reactions that were out of proportion to the situation at hand. That made me start asking questions then I realized that I had some broken areas in my heart and some wrong thinking in my mind.

So I’ve been getting my heart healed and my mind renewed through encountering God for myself and hearing him personally It’s been a process of simply asking him questions and listening. This type of experience is what is called SOZO, A Greek word for saved/healed/delivered.   

The healing and truth straight from God in the past few months, is changing my view of people and myself. 

I just realized one more this morning: the thing I love about SOZO, is that no one is telling me what God is saying to me. It’s God speaking directly to me, for me, about me, and I get it better hat way.  Maybe for you that’s not a big deal, but for me it is. You see, most of my life I had pastors, friends, mentors and leaders in the place only God should have in my life.  I had elevated leaders to a place they should never be allowed. I let their opinion be louder than the opinion of my Heavenly Father. My friends’ opinions were more important than Jesus’ opinion of me.  I had allowed the voices in and around my head to be stronger than the Holy Spirit inside me.

In the past I experienced major rejection and criticism and recently realized I was still living in fear of more rejection and criticism. 

While praying during a SOZO, I experienced Jesus holding my hand and him feeling and identifying with me through the pain of rejection and criticism. He understood. He also showed me who He is to me now, and I sensed and saw in a vision all those leaders, mentors, respected friends, who at one time held a high position of too much authority in my life, shrinking back down to their rightful place/role in my life in light of Jesus who is my Filter and Shield.  After this, I knew that everything any of those important people in my life say has to go through Jesus. He is my filter.

This brought me such peace.  His opinion of me is loving gentle and kind.  He loves me, he loves me, he loves me ….and he thinks I’m amazing in every way.  

To be completely honest, there are  still moments when I feel anxious or worried. The difference now is that I am more aware than I was before and I know that it is an opportunity for me to simply run to my Father and receive love from  Him in that area of fear (because anxiety and worry and stress are all just levels of fear).  When I receive love right in that moment for that area or fear or stress etc. God’s perfect love has been (over and over – even this week) banishing all that fear and anxiety and worry and replacing it with peace and truth and total acceptance.  

One of the coolest things is that I can share these experiences with my children so they can learn to recognize their heavenly father’s voice in that his voice be amplified in their lives as well.

So my friend.  What are you experiencing? Rejection…or anxiety, or fear of people’s opinions or fear of dying or any kind of fear, or depression or disappointment?  Jesus is just waiting for you to hear his good and encouraging and loving opinion of you.  (And I used to think that God himself was critical of me as a person. But you don’t have to be afraid of that either. He is so proud of us as his children. He really likes the way he created us โ€“ he likes everything about us. But seriously, you need to hear all these things for yourself straight from him. Then you would really believe it.) 

He really does take our bad beliefs and ideas and give us truth in order to stand tall and strong in our true identity.  

And one more thing: God is the one who defines me. No one else gets to do that. ๐Ÿ˜Š That also means I get to live without the pressure of what others think of me. 

Just talking about it I feel so so happy all over again.  ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜Š ๐Ÿ˜

If you want to get in on this type of experience that’s really helped me, here’s a link to sign up for a SOZO and a description of what it is.  At times, this team has even used Skype to connect with people that are not local.

I make it a habit to go get a SOZO twice a year at the very least.  

As my friend, and spiritual Mother says: “Getting a SOZO is like taking your car in for a tuneup.” To some of you God is saying, “It’s time to pull your car into the garage.” – Marla Rowland 

I love you all!


If you’re still reading this, it’s because you are supposed to know THIS: 

It’s your time to get healed!  You are not much good to anyone if you are not healed.  This is a summer of health and wholeness.  By August you are going to be much, much healthier in body, soul, and spirit than you are right now.  

Let God begin to teach you how to:

Give yourself to the process.

Apply His truth to your life. 

Surround yourself with healthy whole people.  

Remove yourself from negative influences.

Get your life back.

Become whole.

Your family needs you to be whole. 

The world does, too! (That’s another post.) 

He’s not mad at youย 


God’s not mad at you. He loves you AND He likes you! 
Just last night my daughter asked me what I believed 11 years ago when we moved from a church we’d been apart of my entire life. 
I had to be honest, right? 
I answered: “I thought God was waiting to strike me down for some failure or mistake, I could never please him, He was mad, He was scary. I had a fear filled existence of losing my salvation. I also had headaches, back pain, and was often depressed and hopeless.” 
Pretty sad, right? I’m learning it’s not that strange or unusual. I meet with or talk to people quite often that believe this.  
What I would say to anyone who still believes this is to forgive anyone in your life that misrepresented God to you.  
He’s not angry. He suffers long. He is patient. He is kind.  
Almost 11 years later I am SO aware of His love. It’s unconditional. It’s wild. It’s extravagant.  
Some of the keys for me have been willingness to forgive – level after level of forgiveness.  
And layering truth upon truth upon truth. And STAYING away from toxic relationships and conversations. And surrounding myself with truthful people.  
If you’ve ever wondered if you are lovable or worthy of God’s time and attention and you don’t know….this is for you.  
You ARE worth His time and affection. He really loves you.  
#youareloved #truth 

Why aren’t my dreams coming true?ย 


Think of your life like a container. Thinking of your dreams like water that gets poured into a container.  If the container has holes in it, it won’t hold the water. 

Sometimes we wonder why our dreams are not being fulfilled or why we are not seeing any progress on our dreams. Maybe we wonder if God cares.

Maybe he is waiting until we have the holes filled up!  Those holes might be lack of discipline or lack of spiritual maturity or lack of strength to handle blessing. He’s a good father and he won’t give us things that will hurt us.

Sometimes he might be waiting for us to grow into our dreams.

He knows that too much blessing can actually hurt us at times.

Imagine if you had a company that was only used to doing $1 million jobs. And all of a sudden you got a $7 million job. You might not quite be ready for that. That could ruin you.  Seriously. 

God is a good father. He knows that if you say you want to be a leader you might not be ready to be the president yet or to lead a state or a city.  So he takes us into processes that help us to grow.

I believe that he helps us grow into big people that are big enough and prepared for our dreams.  

So really the way that we could partner with the father on making our dreams come true is to say a bigger “Yes” to the process that he’s taking us through and to the way He is preparing us for those great things that he’s called us to do and be.  

Encouragement: don’t be discouraged if you’re not seeing your dreams fulfilled yet. God is getting you ready for them. Just say “yes, yes, yes”.  He’s getting you totally and completely prepared!  And your dreams fulfilled will be a tree of life – better than you imagined – more beautiful and more glorious than you could have comprehended.  

I promise.  He’s good.  

I am dreaming of…..


On Thursday night at Northgate Alaska BURN ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ Pastor Dennis Hotchkiss had us dream of “what would have to go” (be eradicated) because the Kingdom of God has come in the State of Alaska.  
Woah!!! ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ
What happened was it felt in that moment like everything that we were dreaming of is so possible.
I dream of…
An Alaska that is filled withpeople who are: saved, free, out of debt, liberated, focused, purposeful, alive to God, aligned with destiny, activated in their callings, satisfied, thankful, healed, whole, delivered, free of addictions, set apart for God, courageous, unashamed of the gospel, loving, healthy and relationships, living according to their calling and constantly have eternity in their hearts and minds. 
Above all else every Alaskan knows he/she is loved by the Creator who is our Good Father.  
#akoneday #kingdomofGodinAlaska #HeavenOnEarth #AllThingsArePossible#impossibleISpossible#living4eternity #forthiscause #dreamBIGGER #dreamingwithGod

Do your own journey – write your own story with Godย 


Some of you need to start doing your own journey with God. It’s time to quit watching everybody else.  Get off of Facebook.  Start paying attention to what God is saying.  

Get quiet. Get real. Get honest. Get in touch with your own feelings and passions and desires. Tell God what’s really on your heart.  Let him speak into it. Let him talk to you about it. Most likely your dreams are actually from God. Your desires were put in you by God.

Listen to what he says…

Once you get that word, that grounding word, the word that solidifies your soul, you will never be the same.

Then begin to write. Write your journey. Tell your story. Recount and remember what God has done.

Your story has power. The stuff you’ve walked through gives you authority in those areas. 

What are you going do with your story? 

What about all those prophetic words? What are you doing with those? 

“Treat your prophetic words as your assignment from God.” (#quote @JasonManalli) 

Nobody can argue with your story. It’s yours. 

It’s my choice…


What do you actually believe? 

As I’m sitting here tonight thinking of all that’s gone on this week, I believe and declare that God keeps his promises.  He is good. There is nothing impossible for him. He is our defender. He is faithful. He is Provider. He is our banner. He is our healer. He is an abundant God. He is loving, kind and just. So we can trust, rely, and completely rest in His arms.

I choose to believe that he is who said he is.  Even when friends are sick, even when money is tight, even when fears scream all around, even when kids are conflicting, even when I don’t understand, even when I’m tired, even when it’s snowing AGAIN, even when I feel overweight, even when business is slow, even when I’m not sure, even though I’m not feeling the Passion and fire….

He never changed.  

He’s always the same. 
What I believe is always a choice I get to make.  It’s always my choice.  Always.  And I choose to believe the truth and nothing but the truth.  

It’s my choice….every time. 

Never once walking aloneย 


I’ve been casually studying the names of God again. This one gets me. 

“El Emunah” – The Faithful God 

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God (El Emunah), keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. Deuteronomy 7:9

A thousand generations!!!??!? Woah!  I don’t get hung up on the “those who love him and keep his commandments”. None of us can do that perfectly except by the blood of Jesus in the forgiveness of our sins. Don’t ever forget he is also faithful to forgive.  

Thank you, Father. You are faithful.

You know, friends…..

What if we would stop more often (like every few minutes) and really meditate on who our Father really is. Let’s declare who he is over situations that seem impossible and seem discouraging. What kind of impact could that have in our lives?

So I declare today that he is the faithful God over every circumstance and every difficulty in every pain and every disappointment that we face this morning. He is faithful. He will never leave us. He will never for sake us. He is faithful. He doesn’t change. He is true. He is faithful.  

Father, I thank you that you are so faithful. I ask you to show your faithfulness in new ways to each one of us today.  Open our eyes to see your faithfulness.  We count on your faithfulness in every hard situation that we face. Thank you that you never leave. Thank you that you never for sake us. Thank you that you’ve never once left us walking alone.  Father, you have always been here. You are near to the brokenhearted and you comfort and bind them up. You are trustworthy, true, reliable and faithful.  We love you, Daddy.